What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What is the moral stance on lying? Can you provide examples of when it is appropriate or inappropriate to lie? Does the Bible address this issue?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Why do men like BBW? What is the attraction?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Is having white skin really that attractive?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

How do I confess to my crush who had a traumatic past with his previous partner without losing the friendship?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why is there no evidence of a multiverse theory?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I’ve often wondered why fans aren’t deployed on GBBO during warm weather? I’ve seen too many desserts melt (and bakers too…). (I live in Pompano Beach and we try to use fans in lieu of AC as much as possible).

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why are Republicans such intolerant people?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Are Americans really as uneducated and ignorant as portrayed in the media?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why do I sometimes hear full conversations when I am alone?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why do I feel bad when I see white girls dating black guys, am I racist?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

TEXT:

What is the most gay experience with your dad?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.